Monday, May 17, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Complete
Is when you can laugh when there is no one
And when there is everyone
When you can dance when the music is off
And when it blasts
When you find a problem and solve it
When you find a problem and decide it isn’t a problem
When you are hurt and you call your friend, sister or mentor
When you are anxious and decide to relax and do
Is when you are scared
And slowly overcome your fear
Is when you take your way and your time
Even though everyone else takes another way at a different pace
Is when you can have an opinion different from everyone else
And yet you don’t need to convince anyone of it
Complete is when you don’t mind the habits and behaviors of others
Because you are working on your own
Complete is when you can leave the room to go attend to your needs
And when you stay because you need the company
Complete is being with company and taking care of yourself at the same time
Complete is giving love away
Because you know how to give it to yourself too
Complete is knowing how to ask for what you need
And not being scared to say how you feel
Complete is knowing when to say these things
And forgiving yourself when you forget
Complete is being faced with a difficult decision
and taking time to think through it and then acting decisively
without hesitance and without needing reassurance
Complete is having fun, finding friends and people to have fun with, creating social time, and social events and a social life
Complete is knowing your dreams and taking steps to acheive them
Complete is knowing deep down that everything is very okay
Complete is getting rejected but not feeling rejected
Complete is being accepted but not needing to feel accepted
Complete creating solutions, fun, and laughter
Complete is not being threatened, and only seeing opportunity
Complete is feeling threatened and getting over it
Complete is feeling confident to stand up for yourself
Complete is being able to negotiate the fairest deal
Complete is being able to protect yourself when you are in danger
Complete is facing the people you fear
Complete is trusting that all is just as it should be
Complete is not expecting any one to understand you or do whats best for you all of the time
Complete is being okay with that
Complete is expecting for your loved ones to try to do what is safe and loving for you
Complete is being honest with yourself of your weaknesses and finding ways to get help to fill those
Complete is being in relationships with people that are honest with you
Complete is knowing how to manage finances, wash dishes, manage people, truly relax, and have fun
Complete is having time for nature
Complete is wanting to do something and not doing it because it isn't good for you
Complete is not wanting to do something and doing it because its good for you
Complete is wanting to do something that is good for you
Complete is screwing up and not really sweating it
Complete is not looking at this list again
And when there is everyone
When you can dance when the music is off
And when it blasts
When you find a problem and solve it
When you find a problem and decide it isn’t a problem
When you are hurt and you call your friend, sister or mentor
When you are anxious and decide to relax and do
Is when you are scared
And slowly overcome your fear
Is when you take your way and your time
Even though everyone else takes another way at a different pace
Is when you can have an opinion different from everyone else
And yet you don’t need to convince anyone of it
Complete is when you don’t mind the habits and behaviors of others
Because you are working on your own
Complete is when you can leave the room to go attend to your needs
And when you stay because you need the company
Complete is being with company and taking care of yourself at the same time
Complete is giving love away
Because you know how to give it to yourself too
Complete is knowing how to ask for what you need
And not being scared to say how you feel
Complete is knowing when to say these things
And forgiving yourself when you forget
Complete is being faced with a difficult decision
and taking time to think through it and then acting decisively
without hesitance and without needing reassurance
Complete is having fun, finding friends and people to have fun with, creating social time, and social events and a social life
Complete is knowing your dreams and taking steps to acheive them
Complete is knowing deep down that everything is very okay
Complete is getting rejected but not feeling rejected
Complete is being accepted but not needing to feel accepted
Complete creating solutions, fun, and laughter
Complete is not being threatened, and only seeing opportunity
Complete is feeling threatened and getting over it
Complete is feeling confident to stand up for yourself
Complete is being able to negotiate the fairest deal
Complete is being able to protect yourself when you are in danger
Complete is facing the people you fear
Complete is trusting that all is just as it should be
Complete is not expecting any one to understand you or do whats best for you all of the time
Complete is being okay with that
Complete is expecting for your loved ones to try to do what is safe and loving for you
Complete is being honest with yourself of your weaknesses and finding ways to get help to fill those
Complete is being in relationships with people that are honest with you
Complete is knowing how to manage finances, wash dishes, manage people, truly relax, and have fun
Complete is having time for nature
Complete is wanting to do something and not doing it because it isn't good for you
Complete is not wanting to do something and doing it because its good for you
Complete is wanting to do something that is good for you
Complete is screwing up and not really sweating it
Complete is not looking at this list again
black and white
he told me
it ain't black and white
he said we are
selfish
and selfless
he said we are women
and we are men
at the same time
he wanted me to see
that isn't reason
that brings us to where
we are
its something else
i couldn't
let go
of the two sticks
stuck in the middle of the
mountain
that i held onto
he did
and fell into the air
i heard a splash
i waited
the sticks broke
i fell
and splashed into
the water
it ain't black and white
he said we are
selfish
and selfless
he said we are women
and we are men
at the same time
he wanted me to see
that isn't reason
that brings us to where
we are
its something else
i couldn't
let go
of the two sticks
stuck in the middle of the
mountain
that i held onto
he did
and fell into the air
i heard a splash
i waited
the sticks broke
i fell
and splashed into
the water
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Aziz
Aziz the night watchman of the riad
A boy of 26 years old or younger
I couldn’t tell
Morrocans look older than they are
Often
Asked me if I would ride
On his motor bike to the hamam
I held onto his waste
Identifying me as a foreigner
Everyone else just sits on the back of a bike
Like it’s a couch
Maybe holding on to a bar with one hand
We swerve through a part of the medina I don’t know
The way is no more than 5-6 feet wide
And at times only 3 feet wide
The turns are particularly
Delicate and the ones he knows to be dangerous
He squeezes the horn
We almost took the head off a man
Whose hair was the color of frittes
As he walked out of his riad
“pardon!” and “sorry” we both yelled back
The air was not marakeshi
It was cool and zesty
He put on a coat
But I kept my light and silk shirt
We flew past a young girl with a pail
And women in their typical mountain peak
Veil silhuouttes
The smell of diesel
And animal
And urine are strong
Overwhelmed me in its strong wind
And I mentioned it to aziz’s ear
“It is normal for me, but not for you”
He said though he doesn’t really speak English
I grow addicted to traveling this way,
Particularly in the medina, in its narrow passageways
And in the sections that tourists do not know
And do not go
He turns down a narrow narrow alley
From a popular souk
And it is like we have opened a door to the
Secret and off-limits bowels of the ancient medina
Part of me wishes to see it thirty years ago
The other part knows that my now sterile and
Sanitized stomach perhaps couldn’t handle it
I think of Kabul but this isn’t Kabul though
Some of the smells are the same
Aziz is gentle
He is tall and has the strongest nose
And darker skin than a berber
But its still a mixed shade
It’s still a beautiful glow like oil butter and black oil were
Mixed together the butter somehow still apparent
He is kind
A boy of 26 years old or younger
I couldn’t tell
Morrocans look older than they are
Often
Asked me if I would ride
On his motor bike to the hamam
I held onto his waste
Identifying me as a foreigner
Everyone else just sits on the back of a bike
Like it’s a couch
Maybe holding on to a bar with one hand
We swerve through a part of the medina I don’t know
The way is no more than 5-6 feet wide
And at times only 3 feet wide
The turns are particularly
Delicate and the ones he knows to be dangerous
He squeezes the horn
We almost took the head off a man
Whose hair was the color of frittes
As he walked out of his riad
“pardon!” and “sorry” we both yelled back
The air was not marakeshi
It was cool and zesty
He put on a coat
But I kept my light and silk shirt
We flew past a young girl with a pail
And women in their typical mountain peak
Veil silhuouttes
The smell of diesel
And animal
And urine are strong
Overwhelmed me in its strong wind
And I mentioned it to aziz’s ear
“It is normal for me, but not for you”
He said though he doesn’t really speak English
I grow addicted to traveling this way,
Particularly in the medina, in its narrow passageways
And in the sections that tourists do not know
And do not go
He turns down a narrow narrow alley
From a popular souk
And it is like we have opened a door to the
Secret and off-limits bowels of the ancient medina
Part of me wishes to see it thirty years ago
The other part knows that my now sterile and
Sanitized stomach perhaps couldn’t handle it
I think of Kabul but this isn’t Kabul though
Some of the smells are the same
Aziz is gentle
He is tall and has the strongest nose
And darker skin than a berber
But its still a mixed shade
It’s still a beautiful glow like oil butter and black oil were
Mixed together the butter somehow still apparent
He is kind
Jamal
Jamal
Tells me in an English that
Emphasizes words in new places
Which distracts me
As we walk down to imlil
The famous mountain village
Where he is from
“I like you and I don’t why”
I know the rest of his sentence
Bc this is the fifth day together
And our level of comfort
Has become what it is bt
People who have walked together
For so many days
“why you don’t like me”
The sun is shaded as we walk down
And it comes onto the ground
In clumps of shapes, leaves
With light around them
We both savor the cool shelter
And the blocking of the sun
I still feel my nose suffering
From the severe burn of the first day
His insistence makes me relieved
That I have chosen to end our trek early that
Day and go to Marrakesh to relax
I wonder what I have done to
Deserve such wretched discussion
In such lovely circumstances
And then the moment passes
As we come on to the short line
Of shops
Familiar faces young boys
Who are not mountain guides
Who did not take the examiniations
But still sport the quechua attire
So revered here
Say hello and I laugh and say hello back
In days I have become part of the
Ecosystem of Imlil
Bc of my solitary tourism
And my muslim name
And my female gender
Everyone seems to giggle a little as I walk by
The boy asks if we can trade something for
Something
My jacket
He proposes
And I quickly reject him
“do you know how much I love this jacket”
It has some strange grid technology of
Warmth inside so that I wore it
During the hottest and coldest
Moments of our trek
He says au voir
And I walk on down the hill of remaining shops
Jamal has been walking ahead
As he does
And goes up to the café
“we wait for the taxi here”
He knows I need to know the plan
Then he walks off
He wears jeans today
Knowing it was going to be light
And his red fleece vest
The one he wore the whole trip
His height is mine
But what attracted
The morrocan woman in the riad
Later that day
were his contrasting spotted green eyes
and his gentle wise quiet
He has learned to guide wreckless
And demanding tourists
Wanting to climb the mountains
Surrounding his childhood
Some push him to climb harder and longer
Others to make sure their irresponsibility
Doesn’t seep into his day
He watches people
And knows their abilities the first hour
He is proud of all of this
And tells me about it
“me I know the people”
His soft skin brightened by that berber
Yellow
A color that would be almost impossible to
Replicate in its glow darkness and lightness
All at once
He walks off for the taxi
I begin taking pictures quickly of imlil
Of its shops and the boys sitting around
Trying to avoid the british tourist
Walking about
The mountain is in the view and the trees of
Cherry, orange and fig are as well
The perfect sun in the periwinkle sky
Is hopeful
And I don’t feel the sadness of my pending
Departure
The taxi arrives and behind the car
The driver takes a picture
Of Jamal and I in front of the town
Jamal later reveals
That this is the first picture together
During the whole trip
Exposing his sensitivity to our every action
To my every action towards him
I ignore this and all the other statements
Made
And enjoy the view from the rear window of the car
As we drive away from toubkal
And the days of walking the valley and mountains
Then suddenly I ask him to have lunch with me in
Marrakesh
In the café he tells me in six years it’s the first
Time he eats with a tourist
In Marrakesh
Though he has been asked several times
He is ready for our farewell
I am not bc I want his continued company
In the winding ways of the medina
We say goodbye on the outer street
He is sentimental
And I am not
resisting his
Attempt to kiss me
I say goodbye and laugh
I walk away
And take more photos of the
Jemma al fna before
Going back to the riad
To rest
That night,
I turn off the Spanish television show
And begin to cry
Missing jamal’s eye over me
Tells me in an English that
Emphasizes words in new places
Which distracts me
As we walk down to imlil
The famous mountain village
Where he is from
“I like you and I don’t why”
I know the rest of his sentence
Bc this is the fifth day together
And our level of comfort
Has become what it is bt
People who have walked together
For so many days
“why you don’t like me”
The sun is shaded as we walk down
And it comes onto the ground
In clumps of shapes, leaves
With light around them
We both savor the cool shelter
And the blocking of the sun
I still feel my nose suffering
From the severe burn of the first day
His insistence makes me relieved
That I have chosen to end our trek early that
Day and go to Marrakesh to relax
I wonder what I have done to
Deserve such wretched discussion
In such lovely circumstances
And then the moment passes
As we come on to the short line
Of shops
Familiar faces young boys
Who are not mountain guides
Who did not take the examiniations
But still sport the quechua attire
So revered here
Say hello and I laugh and say hello back
In days I have become part of the
Ecosystem of Imlil
Bc of my solitary tourism
And my muslim name
And my female gender
Everyone seems to giggle a little as I walk by
The boy asks if we can trade something for
Something
My jacket
He proposes
And I quickly reject him
“do you know how much I love this jacket”
It has some strange grid technology of
Warmth inside so that I wore it
During the hottest and coldest
Moments of our trek
He says au voir
And I walk on down the hill of remaining shops
Jamal has been walking ahead
As he does
And goes up to the café
“we wait for the taxi here”
He knows I need to know the plan
Then he walks off
He wears jeans today
Knowing it was going to be light
And his red fleece vest
The one he wore the whole trip
His height is mine
But what attracted
The morrocan woman in the riad
Later that day
were his contrasting spotted green eyes
and his gentle wise quiet
He has learned to guide wreckless
And demanding tourists
Wanting to climb the mountains
Surrounding his childhood
Some push him to climb harder and longer
Others to make sure their irresponsibility
Doesn’t seep into his day
He watches people
And knows their abilities the first hour
He is proud of all of this
And tells me about it
“me I know the people”
His soft skin brightened by that berber
Yellow
A color that would be almost impossible to
Replicate in its glow darkness and lightness
All at once
He walks off for the taxi
I begin taking pictures quickly of imlil
Of its shops and the boys sitting around
Trying to avoid the british tourist
Walking about
The mountain is in the view and the trees of
Cherry, orange and fig are as well
The perfect sun in the periwinkle sky
Is hopeful
And I don’t feel the sadness of my pending
Departure
The taxi arrives and behind the car
The driver takes a picture
Of Jamal and I in front of the town
Jamal later reveals
That this is the first picture together
During the whole trip
Exposing his sensitivity to our every action
To my every action towards him
I ignore this and all the other statements
Made
And enjoy the view from the rear window of the car
As we drive away from toubkal
And the days of walking the valley and mountains
Then suddenly I ask him to have lunch with me in
Marrakesh
In the café he tells me in six years it’s the first
Time he eats with a tourist
In Marrakesh
Though he has been asked several times
He is ready for our farewell
I am not bc I want his continued company
In the winding ways of the medina
We say goodbye on the outer street
He is sentimental
And I am not
resisting his
Attempt to kiss me
I say goodbye and laugh
I walk away
And take more photos of the
Jemma al fna before
Going back to the riad
To rest
That night,
I turn off the Spanish television show
And begin to cry
Missing jamal’s eye over me
morroco
Marakesh belives in sidewalks
And concrete
That they deserve design
And variety
It belives in the star that forms
In between two patterns
And the accidental miracle
Of the diamond that arises
As two bars intertwine
If you grow accustomed to one
Style
And then look down again
It will have changed
To surprise you
Marakesh believes that green
Is married to and promiscuous
With color
Orange balls hide behind leaves
While fuscia pokes out in long strands
Marakesh believes in extraordinary
Planting trees brought from peru
Long ago
Amongst the regular hue of arboles
Suddenly in may
They are purple
And the eyes crave them
In disbelief
They are few
And all around
You may stare
Marrakesh believes in light
And its reflection
Someone should carve into the
Cover of the bulb
For hours
Before it is deserving of the light
It guards and softens
It should reflect shapes onto your walls
And ceilings
So that where there is no décor
There will be at night
Marakesh is for those hungry
For oxygen
Those who always wonder
At night
Why the stars are hidden from view
There are no ceilings here
Inhale
Marakesh believes in time
And time is not money
Time is detail
And detail is everything
Make texture with time
Make circles
And archways like the body
Of a woman
Take time
And do it that way
So it lasts
So your life is full
Should you never leave the medina
You will have seen all the color
And the curves of the world
They are in your door way
And on your walk
In marakesh
A baby is part of a woman’s drapes
Folded into her back as she walks
And he sleeps
Head bent over
Children are with children
And care for each other
The medina is their home
Hopscotch and Chinese jump rope
Is their game on the years old pebble way
They laugh and cry and no adults arrive
Marakesh is confused like religion
Adidas and levis
Capucinno in cafes
And hejab
Prayer five times a day
Marakesh believes in color
As if it is seeking to invent
It anew
Cover yourself completely
But just don’t do it in black
Do it in blue
Green or pink
Marakesh believes in signs
They are an opportunity
Metal and aluminum
To be designed
And welded
Into something
That tells you to stop
And go
With curves
Marakesh leaves
You alone
If you do not cover
But it wonders about your money
Or your origin
All the while
Morocco still believes in people
And to you it is reminiscent
Like a subconscious memory
You are comfortable here
Though you don’t know why
Benches fill with humans
People overwhelm
Streets and crosswalks
Parks are used every day
Not just on holiday
No one is buying
Some are selling
People are just sitting
And talking
And you wonder was it once
This way
From where you came?
Before humans became convenient
On computer screens
And the fleeting sensation
Of money
Was confused with love?
you know you are deprived
As u walk
and you know you will not stay
you too have gone plain
You too prefer to sit on a chair
While you piss
do you long for sanitary order
And empty streets
Buildings full of rooms for one
And concrete
That they deserve design
And variety
It belives in the star that forms
In between two patterns
And the accidental miracle
Of the diamond that arises
As two bars intertwine
If you grow accustomed to one
Style
And then look down again
It will have changed
To surprise you
Marakesh believes that green
Is married to and promiscuous
With color
Orange balls hide behind leaves
While fuscia pokes out in long strands
Marakesh believes in extraordinary
Planting trees brought from peru
Long ago
Amongst the regular hue of arboles
Suddenly in may
They are purple
And the eyes crave them
In disbelief
They are few
And all around
You may stare
Marrakesh believes in light
And its reflection
Someone should carve into the
Cover of the bulb
For hours
Before it is deserving of the light
It guards and softens
It should reflect shapes onto your walls
And ceilings
So that where there is no décor
There will be at night
Marakesh is for those hungry
For oxygen
Those who always wonder
At night
Why the stars are hidden from view
There are no ceilings here
Inhale
Marakesh believes in time
And time is not money
Time is detail
And detail is everything
Make texture with time
Make circles
And archways like the body
Of a woman
Take time
And do it that way
So it lasts
So your life is full
Should you never leave the medina
You will have seen all the color
And the curves of the world
They are in your door way
And on your walk
In marakesh
A baby is part of a woman’s drapes
Folded into her back as she walks
And he sleeps
Head bent over
Children are with children
And care for each other
The medina is their home
Hopscotch and Chinese jump rope
Is their game on the years old pebble way
They laugh and cry and no adults arrive
Marakesh is confused like religion
Adidas and levis
Capucinno in cafes
And hejab
Prayer five times a day
Marakesh believes in color
As if it is seeking to invent
It anew
Cover yourself completely
But just don’t do it in black
Do it in blue
Green or pink
Marakesh believes in signs
They are an opportunity
Metal and aluminum
To be designed
And welded
Into something
That tells you to stop
And go
With curves
Marakesh leaves
You alone
If you do not cover
But it wonders about your money
Or your origin
All the while
Morocco still believes in people
And to you it is reminiscent
Like a subconscious memory
You are comfortable here
Though you don’t know why
Benches fill with humans
People overwhelm
Streets and crosswalks
Parks are used every day
Not just on holiday
No one is buying
Some are selling
People are just sitting
And talking
And you wonder was it once
This way
From where you came?
Before humans became convenient
On computer screens
And the fleeting sensation
Of money
Was confused with love?
you know you are deprived
As u walk
and you know you will not stay
you too have gone plain
You too prefer to sit on a chair
While you piss
do you long for sanitary order
And empty streets
Buildings full of rooms for one
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