doubt

everywhere everyone doubts. it forces them to eat at O'Charleys, shop at the mall, and buy houses. they wear striped shirts. and the same colors in different order and different combinations. they clean often. they don't make messes for fear of cleaning more. they tell you its highly unlikely. they tell you the way things are makes things impossible to change. they like  big tvs and couches. other languages feel hostile. smells are offensive. rain is to be avoided. people are to be controlled. age is a determinant. money is more important than laughter. weather is ignored. kisses are for lovers only. taste should not be bitter, tart, or too savory. sand and dirt should be washed off. hands should be washed with soap. friends are for good times only. dancing alone is weird.

Google Gods Give

http://www.google.com/transparencyreport/governmentrequests/

burning fall equinox

last night's sun
was half the sky
a shade of pink
like red was turning to orange
it moved too swiftly
for everyone to see
slipping into the horizon


The heat
Snapped a leaf onto
The concrete
Coral with yellow veins
It's head was an arrow
Pointing up, forward
Or out


I walked on the sidewalk
Against the fall equinox sun
That Burned the air
My gait was right and left
back and forth
It was taking me time
To get where I was going
Exhausted from the burn
I could neither stop
Nor go back
 clumsily
I waded forward

time right before colors

Its soft cold in the morning
Dark breeze in the evening
Its blazing sun at noon
Its electric connections
No missed opportunities
Only happenings
Its focus
and the time right before colors
equinox magic
there is no longing
no wanting
just weather
the gentle birth of chilly air
a new phase
quiet outside
loud inside

I saw a woman

Dance the way you do
the Venezuelan way
the weight on the front foot
and the hold
and then back onto the other foot
and the hold
I forgot that way
and I love that way
and I didn't know it
until I saw her do it
years ago
we had a good year and a half of that dance
I felt you immediately
thought of you in Sweden
Like all of you
I wasn't quite ready for you
unprepared, we happened any ways
and then unhappened too

the You changed
a year later
You were blond and ocean eyed
I was with you in Colombia
you brought tears to me
the way you understood
you- old man and small boy-
your combination
of play and depth
I crave still some days
Sounds and colors
our ecstatic frenzy
we were the church
you ran from
at 12

a year later
the You became
a Man
masculine
forceful
assertive
irreverent
You did as you pleased
and that pleased me
you weren't ready for me
for femininity
and gingerly
my raw exposure
And quicker than the rest
our off-road
adventure
fell apart on the concrete

All of you are inside now
all of you still linger

You are meaning

I long for the day
I can walk your forest path
Swim your caverns
Climb your slippery ice

I didn't want to leave
any of you
I barely got away
cowardly through words
but I had to

Destiny
could not
Wait
Now she and I walk together
remembering you
the love
the power
as fresh
as the first meal

Conformity

"I know of no country in which there is so little independence of mind and real freedom of discussion as in America." alex de tocqueville

"Once conform, once do what other people do because they do it, and a lethargy steals over all the finer nerves and faculties of the soul. She becomes all outer show and inward emptiness; dull, callous, and indifferent." virginia woolf

pUsHarDer

Push harder
stronger
slower
alone
and with them
those
that are pushing slower too
Don't give up
don't give in
Push
through
feel it
feel all of it
but don't do all of it
Do what inspires you
Pretend
other people
never existed
and ice cold
was never cool
Who were you in the womb?
let that newborn
guide you
pUsH
when you don't know
stop
stop for as long
as you aren't sure
and then when you are
a little sure
StArT
again
and PuSh
age
time
space
are meaningless
time is eternal
Push

markets are subversive

Sometimes

Concrete looks like water.