sunday morning

The light was confused
Bright like a sunrise on the ocean
But white like the light of a downpour
I woke quietly this morning
And walked tenderly over the
moaning hard wood floors
The deep red carpet
Muzzled my footsteps
bouncing around the apartment
On my tip toes
I didn’t want to wake the downstairs
Neighbors
It isn’t fair that I wake so early on a Sunday morning
Fiona’s morning baby gibberish
Comes through the window
With a sea of buzzing air conditioners
Stuck in the sides of buildings
Like sebaceous cysts
the cool of an undecided rainfall
breezes through the apartment

Shame

Its a secret
unlike guilt
or embarrassment
is lives on its own
inside
it controls
and can conquer
the heart
and the soul
for years
probably
somebody gave it to you
sometime
when you were too little to
know
the hand-off was taking place
a country might be filled
with millions
of shamed women
who constantly
for years
seek retribution outside
never fully
finding it
inside

there was a period
of hopes and dreams
and now there is a period
of removing the film
that covers our eyes
no time for dreams
it is time only
for
immediate choices
immediate action
immediate movement
we know not what we give up
we know not what we gain
but the time for passive dreams
is over
the time for painful
abrupt and sudden change
has arrived
no more prayers
no more fantasies
the truth
is plain

now i think the fight is between
those that want to make a pure religious fascist dictatorship
and those that don't
and who embodies that
and how to get rid of them
peacefully
so that the whole government structure
doesn't fall apart
causing a long term crisis

the good news and the bad news

the good news is that this is a serious debate between the power holders in Iran, which is different from the past where it was the people versus the government, which means the fissures in power are being revealed and can result in change for the good.

the bad news is that to get control some parts of the government will start being brutal.

two articles on the sichuashion

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8101841.stm

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/16/world/middleeast/16cleric.html?_r=1&ref=global-home

Iran continued

What I hope:

I hope the government gives in a bit...recognizes the change in the population it governs and gives them a re-vote and this time counts the results.

And then when Ahmadinejad wins, I hope that he can't crack down on people's attire and the women's movement anymore bc he and Khamenei reason that the only way they will stay in power is by letting these people have some more rights.

elections

I was in Yerevan the day of the election and I went to the Iranian mosque and talked to some ahmadinejad supporters. I think its v possible that he won, I just don't think there is any way they could have known that saturday morning (tehran time) and by such margins that they declared. normally they display the votes in terms of the top two contenders, and have a run off. its hard to believe there was no need for a run-off this time.

thats why everyone is upset. they want fair elections at least at the counting the votes part. i have no idea why the government risked this by doing it so unfairly, but they did. looks like khamenei is going to try to make it legitimate with the probe. its a smart move. he best figure something out or the little bit of legitimacy they have left might be squeezed away from them. this is a political crisis and it will take serious savvyness to overcome on the part of the ruling elite.
i think the other problem is that this shines a light on the supreme leader and his rule. if he ignores the constitution and the rights granted to the people in the constitution so blatantly, he is in trouble.

i don't think they want a revolution, they just want fair counting of the votes. i wouldn't believe the foreign press regardless. its not a revolt.

12:52 AM

Surprising to say
The airport time had not been bad
It has everything
And is quite modern and clean
People have a lot of babies
And now as
I sit at the gate for my flight
The shine and money
Is traded for more humble
Attire reflecting more
Humble means
The men dominate the
Waiting room
And I am getting my latest dose
Of the fashions in pointy shoes for men
And black everything
For everyone
Two little boys ages 3 & 5in their navy suits
And white pointy shoes
Stare at the drunk Russian
Ordering the bar boys to prepare his drink
Just right
I guess that's what he is saying
He is so red in the face frustrated
W their incompetence
The bar boys just laugh
Here goes the stinky flight boarding
Plastic bags abound!

Sushi

Whats fabulous
About sitting in a sushi restaurant
In Moscow airport
Is all the rich Russians
That come by
The girls are
All skinny
And the styles are bold
And this is refreshing
Compared to the neutral colored
Washington dc
Here sparkles, sequins and gold
Are expected
The wilder the better
And matching wildness is the best
White jeans
White shiny shirt
White jean jacket
Oh yea

Twelve Hours in Moscow

Twelve hours in Moscow airport
I slept for the first two hours
While some kids ran around me
And some Spaniards spoke in front of me
Finally feeling rested
I went about the task of eating
It had been awhile
Found a sushi place
Sounded interesting to eat sushi in Moscow
So I did
It was warm sushi but yummy
The guy behind the bar was the best part
He looked at me and smiled when I ordered in English and body language
When the sushi was ready
He smiled again
Bon apetit
Sometimes people think I am French
Bc my style is a little fairy like
sometimes
It was that smile
Like I will take care of you with pride
And it feels so nice
And is irresistible
Though my sister
Would hate it
Saying its patronizing
And gross
And it is but it still feels nice
A smile
That says I got it under control
Those guys have helped me so many times
Showing me to taxis they trust,
Calling handy men,
Showing me where to buy internet cards,
Phone cards,
Those paternalistic men
Have been fatherly and protective
When I needed it
Its seven pm six more hours to go

Domoded

We left two hours later yesterday
thanks to some spectacular lightening
and thunder
so I missed the flight to Yerevan
and arrived to the airport in Moscow
having all that I expected
occur to me
there was one woman at the transit check-in desk
she has no computer
there is a phone,
a land line phone
after awhile more women
appear
and they hover behind her
and then they start saying
"United" "united"
looking for the united airlines phone number
one of them starts to pull out
paper being kept in plastic
paper covers
there are numbers on the page but no United number
after about 3 minutes
some one finds out the number
and gives it to the woman
with that burgundy pink hair color
that is so popular here
in this world
they all wear so much make up
that I stare, in my world,
nobody wears makeup
I have forgotten what it looks like
I look around while the women
do the telephone paper
dance
and I see passengers arriving
again high heels abound
things we just don't see in
Washington
I even saw a mini-skirt that
just covered the lower line of her butt
back to the desk of women
I start to wonder about my baggage claim ticket
and the only piece of paper that says I actually
have a flight
I gave them both to the desk of scantily
spread papers
I see one of the women pull out the phone number page
from its plastic cover
and write down the United Airlines phone number
for future notice of course
my shock is somewhat dulled
by my exhaustion and low expectations
but I am still surprised that
this is the first time they need the
number
given it is the transit check-in desk
then I am given the news
that we, the women, me, have to wait for the United people
to board the plane back to Washington
before they can come here to help
us
and thats a shame bc the next flight to yerevan just took off
and later, when I decide to ask,
I find out
the next flight is at 1 AM
its about 1:30 PM in Moscow now

On the way to Moscow en route to Yerevan

Sitting on the runway
And suddenly
Toenails that had never been clipped
Bc they had the color of dead people's
Toenails
Were sitting at my elbows
They came with feet that had black and gray
Stuff, toe jam, cotton or just floor crap picked up
By bare feet
Sprinkled all about
I didn't see these alien extremities
They were brought to my attention
By their smell
Where I started looking around
And found nothing
Until I looked down
The culprit
Was there
And I wondered
Was foot cleaning customary
In russia?

Can't be mixed

There is no science in my art
And there is little art in my science
they are completely
separate
and must not be mixed
only used in parallel

Even thought

a change might be coming
radical
and different
some thing right
and true
but even tho
its good to be
in the beautiful
place right before the change
where you can relax
in your surroundings
knowing you are leaving
and yet enjoying
the bits
you will miss
savoring all that
is here right now

Rain boat

this morning at 6 AM
my bed was floating in a river
of rain
it was dark
so I came in and out of sleep
like I was sleeping on a cloud
that roamed freely
on a roaring river

Take these barriers
real and imagined
and break them down.