Freedom to Violate

At 8PM I left my office and walked home. I walked down the same crowded main neighborhood street right between Dupont Circle and Adams Morgan that I walk down every morning and every evening. Monday night I walked home at 11PM, without a worry because the neighborhood is tame and full of world bank, NGO, law professionals.
I was enjoying the cool breeze and the sunset when suddenly a man on a bike rides past me and says something and grabs my arm. Startled I yell “what the fuck.” I stand there in complete confusion and disbelief that someone had grabbed me in such an aggressive way. I stand there knowing that it wasn’t because I was in his way. I know something weird just happened.
Then I see him turn around and I feel very uncomfortable. I am not sure why but it all feels creepy and unsafe. I am standing there in tight skirt, flat shoes and laptop computer, my self-defense mechanisms of running, kicking, pulling felt completely unrealistic. I felt cornered. Then I feel him ride his bike slowly behind me and he is apologizing for startling me, and says “I think the hairs on your arms are sexy” and then I know something is wrong. I said “you shouldn’t touch people like that.” And he continues to ride slowly alongside me as I walk. Eventually he gives up and says “okay have a good day” and with that he grabs my arm again, holding it until he has pedaled away.
What amazes me is how fast he had all the power. As soon as normal boundaries are overstepped, it was like I was totally powerless. With him on a bike, and me alone and in shitty shoes and a tight skirt, I felt really limited. But not only that, I was shocked, he could touch me! Nobody can touch me without my permission, how could he, whenever he wanted? And that’s when I realized that I take for granted that those rules will be obeyed.
There are things I could have done. I could have gone into the street, to give others visibility if anything else happened. I could have looked him straight in the face for longer than I did. I wanted him to go away and I didn’t want to give him any more attention, and ultimately I think that’s why he did ride his bike away.