A wave rolling over me

The Innocence Mission

Worrying

It was in the New York Times magazine, some people are just more worry prone than others and depending on the environment, they can become less or more. It was me in an article. So the next time I felt calm and confident (like right now) that everything was going to be okay, I wanted to describe it to myself so I can get here again, should I feel worried about something later.
Right now, I feel I could worry about a lot of things. The way I misspoke to my best friend and possibly hurt her feelings, the way my savings is pathetic and I could be screwed if I was fired or laid off, the way I took the day off and my staff is probably scrambling to meet deadlines that I should be helping them with, the way I have no idea what is good or bad or whether the current relationship I am in will last, the way I have gained weight over the summer, the way I probably offended my cousin yesterday, how my sister is and what I should do to take care of her, all of this, sits somewhere in my mind and tends to freak me out.

For awhile I thought I had to just work through each worry and I would be okay, which ultimately meant I had to sit out of life for periods of time. Now I know if it isn’t one worry, it will be something else, that I will always find something to worry about or fear, because there is always something to worry about or fear. So now I am practicing, not avoidance, but letting go. Letting go of everything I can’t control, and even the stuff I can, so at least I can live and be and produce and accomplish.

Its as if I am changing the way I see the world from real problems I need to solve to a game of fake problems my mind creates for me to be distracted by. Its like having schizophrenia and knowing when the other voices are coming and knowing how to ignore them. Some of these concerns are real and important. And if they are, they will come up in due time, and I can deal with them then.

The grass flittered
while the wind stimulated
the leaves reacted
and the river
moved in diagonal
across the horizon
autumn spent the day
settling in
as the rain dabbled onto
our sweaters
by nightfall the windows
were pulled low
the blankets were scavenged
from dusty attics
the air was cool

Information

"Information itself has become relative."

http://roomfordebate.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/09/18/what-socialism-means-to-the-masses/?ref=global-home

Summer of '09

It was the summer of mulling. Mulling and more mulling. People hurting each other, people being hurt. People standing up and getting hurt for doing that, people not standing up and getting hurt for that. It was the summer of turmoil. The celestial gods were angry and irritable. They were tired of all of us staying so complacent for so long. Governments argued and fought with their people. People argued and fought with those they loved. New things happened, old things ended.
People were angry and grumpy and creative and innovative all together. It was so much change it had to be an upheaval.
Those that preferred the dolphins were forced into waters with sharks, those that preferred the bite of sharks were stuck with sheen skin of dolphins.
Long living narratives cracked open, the way things were just couldn’t continue to be the way things are.

abstraction according to answers.com

The selection and conceptualization of a phenomenon, or some aspect of it. Abstraction is an essential part of model building where some aspect or part of the real world is extracted and simplified. Unfortunately, during the process of simplification, so much information has to be jettisoned that the resulting model may have very limited success.

Other abstractions are based on idealism; models are made of an ‘ideal type’ such as the Latin American city model. The problem is that it is quite possible to construct very different ideal types of the same phenomenon.

Communalism Vs Individualism again

http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/09/11/mathematics-and-economics/#comment-234077

do we have it all wrong?
maybe half of it.