Friday, May 1, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Flying
The quiet of flying
must be like the quiet
of morning
the mind of flying
must have the stillness
of a glass of water
the breeze of flying
must be like
the touch of gentle hand
on the face
the humility of flying
must be like
facing death
flying
must be like
realizing
that all we do
down here
is rather silly
its fun to shoot for the stars but its too much some times
When there is a feeling that there is more I could be doing and I am not, I feel crappy. But therein lies another problem, bc its two things yes, I have a destiny/purpose something I want to do and need to do that gives me a sense of self-worth BUT I need to stop holding such high expectations of me and my life, at least slow it down a bit, and remember over and over again that I am where I am supposed to be. The more I expect from me, the unhappier I am.
And and and...just realizing that I don't have to be a super star to be important, special or worthy.
And and and...just realizing that I don't have to be a super star to be important, special or worthy.
Revolution
Know why I like this web 2.0 stuff?
Bc its super democratic, and it’s the new wave of capitalism, its not about us consuming what we are given by a select group of people, its about us consuming something we are part of creating, us determining what is important,
And about open source software- its about getting something catered and tailored for a person or for a group, without feeling like its some product or something that someone owns that only has value because it has to be paid for, no actually it has value bc its valuable to a person or a group of peopel, and i don't have to pay for it, I only have to pay to maybe fix it up a bit, its not exclusionary like capitalism is, like "i can't share this, or give this" bc then someone will steal it or steal my profit, nope its like there is plenty to go around, and actually we don't need so much bloody profit going to the one lucky dude that figured it out in the first place, in fact we share software and development for other reasons, because its fun to be challenged, its fun to use your brain, to work with people as curious and motivated to create as you are. thats the new wave. we do our work bc we like it, we work with others bc it motivates us, makes our lives more fulfilled, profit is soo 2000s! and whatever we create, we don't exclude others from using it to make their lives better.
Bc its super democratic, and it’s the new wave of capitalism, its not about us consuming what we are given by a select group of people, its about us consuming something we are part of creating, us determining what is important,
And about open source software- its about getting something catered and tailored for a person or for a group, without feeling like its some product or something that someone owns that only has value because it has to be paid for, no actually it has value bc its valuable to a person or a group of peopel, and i don't have to pay for it, I only have to pay to maybe fix it up a bit, its not exclusionary like capitalism is, like "i can't share this, or give this" bc then someone will steal it or steal my profit, nope its like there is plenty to go around, and actually we don't need so much bloody profit going to the one lucky dude that figured it out in the first place, in fact we share software and development for other reasons, because its fun to be challenged, its fun to use your brain, to work with people as curious and motivated to create as you are. thats the new wave. we do our work bc we like it, we work with others bc it motivates us, makes our lives more fulfilled, profit is soo 2000s! and whatever we create, we don't exclude others from using it to make their lives better.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Status Quo
How comfortable is the status quo? The predictable? Comfortable enough so that we don't do the work to do what we really want to do?
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Freedom to Violate
At 8PM I left my office and walked home. I walked down the same crowded main neighborhood street right between Dupont Circle and Adams Morgan that I walk down every morning and every evening. Monday night I walked home at 11PM, without a worry because the neighborhood is tame and full of world bank, NGO, law professionals.
I was enjoying the cool breeze and the sunset when suddenly a man on a bike rides past me and says something and grabs my arm. Startled I yell “what the fuck.” I stand there in complete confusion and disbelief that someone had grabbed me in such an aggressive way. I stand there knowing that it wasn’t because I was in his way. I know something weird just happened.
Then I see him turn around and I feel very uncomfortable. I am not sure why but it all feels creepy and unsafe. I am standing there in tight skirt, flat shoes and laptop computer, my self-defense mechanisms of running, kicking, pulling felt completely unrealistic. I felt cornered. Then I feel him ride his bike slowly behind me and he is apologizing for startling me, and says “I think the hairs on your arms are sexy” and then I know something is wrong. I said “you shouldn’t touch people like that.” And he continues to ride slowly alongside me as I walk. Eventually he gives up and says “okay have a good day” and with that he grabs my arm again, holding it until he has pedaled away.
What amazes me is how fast he had all the power. As soon as normal boundaries are overstepped, it was like I was totally powerless. With him on a bike, and me alone and in shitty shoes and a tight skirt, I felt really limited. But not only that, I was shocked, he could touch me! Nobody can touch me without my permission, how could he, whenever he wanted? And that’s when I realized that I take for granted that those rules will be obeyed.
There are things I could have done. I could have gone into the street, to give others visibility if anything else happened. I could have looked him straight in the face for longer than I did. I wanted him to go away and I didn’t want to give him any more attention, and ultimately I think that’s why he did ride his bike away.
I was enjoying the cool breeze and the sunset when suddenly a man on a bike rides past me and says something and grabs my arm. Startled I yell “what the fuck.” I stand there in complete confusion and disbelief that someone had grabbed me in such an aggressive way. I stand there knowing that it wasn’t because I was in his way. I know something weird just happened.
Then I see him turn around and I feel very uncomfortable. I am not sure why but it all feels creepy and unsafe. I am standing there in tight skirt, flat shoes and laptop computer, my self-defense mechanisms of running, kicking, pulling felt completely unrealistic. I felt cornered. Then I feel him ride his bike slowly behind me and he is apologizing for startling me, and says “I think the hairs on your arms are sexy” and then I know something is wrong. I said “you shouldn’t touch people like that.” And he continues to ride slowly alongside me as I walk. Eventually he gives up and says “okay have a good day” and with that he grabs my arm again, holding it until he has pedaled away.
What amazes me is how fast he had all the power. As soon as normal boundaries are overstepped, it was like I was totally powerless. With him on a bike, and me alone and in shitty shoes and a tight skirt, I felt really limited. But not only that, I was shocked, he could touch me! Nobody can touch me without my permission, how could he, whenever he wanted? And that’s when I realized that I take for granted that those rules will be obeyed.
There are things I could have done. I could have gone into the street, to give others visibility if anything else happened. I could have looked him straight in the face for longer than I did. I wanted him to go away and I didn’t want to give him any more attention, and ultimately I think that’s why he did ride his bike away.
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