Top worst & best things of the last decade (in draft)

The fear driven decade.

1.Taliban destroying of the Buddhas in Bamiyan March 2001
2. Dramatic display of individualism and progress phobia: Bush's anti-choice policies, anti-gay marriage groups, tea party, Sarah Palin and friends.
3. Dramatic rise of a purpose-less and self-obsessed society driven by consumerism, material gain and immediate gratification.
4. Climate change impact and denial.
5. Two wars driven by fear rather than threat.

The underlying secretly good stuff going on

1. Obama elected to presidency bc he is calm, thoughtful, innovative, evidence-based and dedicated.
2. A national meditation on what a good economy is, what a good society is, and what a good government is.
3. Advancement in what we are allowed to be as individuals.
4. More democracies.
5. An emphasis on a need for a common purpose and communal sensibility in society.

When you are good, like good through and through, you don't have mean thoughts about people, you don't really want ill will for anyone, you don't manipulate, or strategize against anyone, you don't go after what you want only, you constantly think about the right thing, the best thing, the good thing it may not be popular, nor please people, but it is the right thing. You trust people, bc you trust yourself. You trust people bc what you feel is safety. When you are like that, its hard to understand people that aren't like that. People that take advantage of others, use others, manipulate others. It's hard to imagine people that can do that, or why.

Mistakes Cost As Much As the Value they bring you

If you drop 100K into a partnership that failed, you will most likely learn A LOT from that mistake. Enough to last you a lifetime. Enough information and wisdom will come out of that mistake to make you very prepared for your next business.

If you drop 4K on an expert that failed you you will know about 4000 ways how you need experts to work, what EXACT kind of expertise you need and how to choose one in the future.

If you drop 50K on a system that ends up being crap for your needs, you will know 50k worth of how to pick a system, build it, and use it.

The truth is that the more is at stake, the more learned.*

So don't be scurred.

* BIG FAT CAVEAT: YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY HAVE COURAGE TO REFLECT ON YOUR MISTAKES FOR THIS TO ACTUALLY WORK.

Special Yalda-First winter solstice eclipse since 1638

What do you do when something is happening that hasn't happened in CENTURIES? I think you stop and hope big. Real big.

when the full eclipse happened it was the most bizarre feeling. the moon was just a white ball in the sky, and i thought for a second that i was a little pretend person in a little pretend galaxy with strings attached to each star and ball. it was very strange. 

Eclipsing Luna

Happiness is knowing that you know how to get your mojo back if you lose it.

Proximate damage

In our distance
I can enjoy you safely
In our proximity
I must protect myself
From those bitter
People inside of you 

32 1

32 1
Boots crunch through snow
While the thin wood
breaks in bt my teeth
& Wikis 
Leak 
 I made mistakes
Overthought it
And underthunk 
I was embarrassingly selfless
And shamefully selfish
I forgot the right people
& remembered the wrong ones
I objectified personified and stupified
I mistook
Shook
And went back anyways
I did stupid 
And did brilliant
Though one was lost in the wash
I missed no one
And danced it in
Like it was 2.  3. 
I turned my back to the crowd 
Looked at solitary tree
Covered n white
Out the window
Boom in my chest
Happiness
u know
Well ive grown tired
But right before 
Good night
Thank you

the snow fell up

the snow fell up
from the ground into the white sky
a year passed
today compared
to today last year
was like the tropics
compared to the mountains
who we were
who we had become
if you come to me
bring me
that part of you
was in the womb

no goodbye

This morning

After the snow started

And the bed was warm from all the sleep

I dreamed I was trying
to see if you were still there

lying asleep in the other room

My eyes welded together

Like two steel doors

I had no control

Facing darkness

Wanting to see

Struggling to see

If you were still there

To say goodbye

properly

Sitting in Evin

You are 31

like me

You are funnier than me

I am more sarcastic

You have green eyes

and short hair

You will turn 32 in a few months

Me, sooner

I drink whiskey in the cold winter

and buy coffee in the size of a cup

already made

I walk to the movies

and to work

I feel

the company

of people

in the streets

I make mistakes

bigger ones that you made

and I go home at night

You don't

You sit

sit

and sit

in the opposite of home

You may walk around for 15 minutes

a day

You don't talk to anyone

He doesn't either

he is 28

a computer programmer

will he remember how to program

when he gets out?

how quickly does the mind

go soft?

How long can the mind

converse with itself

before

it loses who said what

and it all becomes noise

that no one hears

He was a journalist

She played piano

They are our age

They sit

alone

and watch years of growth

go by

how big is that building?

there are so many of you

 how do you architect

a building

that seals

the dreams

of youth?

Sitting in Tehran

She can't talk to anyone
He can't either
he is 28
a computer programmer
will he remember how to program
when he gets out?
how quickly does the mind
go soft?
How long can the mind
converse with itself
before
it loses who said what
and it all becomes noise
that no one hears
He was a journalist
She played piano
They are our age
They sit
alone
and watch years of growth
go by

how big is that building?

there are so many of you
 how do you architect

a building
that seals

the dreams

of youth?

Fastest Way Out Was Through

I woke up through
We both knew
there was an end
it was a matter of interpretation
but we prolonged it
I thought
fastest way out
was through

I finally forgot you a little last night

There aren’t many

Like you
I know, I've tried 

I’ll give me time

Something will make em

stay

Something always

makes you go

We didn’t make it to the winter

Surprised we made it to the fall

You don’t know I’m gone

Most of the time I don’t either

Realized I missed you

Monday

And probably more

Yesterday

Has an effect on me

To not have you around

Fastest way out was through

I could keep going
for a little bit more
But the agony of the spaces in
between the more
and the less
made me
wake up through

Sitting in Wrong until Right comes back

Sitting in wrong
right now
And sitting in wrong
is right
Until wrong is gone
and right comes back

Winter is here

 I am going in, in, in.

From 65 degrees to 45 degrees in two hours

raining like hell

temp dropping

me pooped from

monday & tuesday

feeling tired and daydreamy today

my hair cut is

a square shape

i broke up w my hair

person finally

two year dragged out affair

i can do better

clouds are moving

fast

rain has stopped

looking forward to sleeping

the week before 2011

then starting up again

rhum rhum rhum

finally identified someone for

the bloody program officer

position

hope they don't quit

2010 was big von

feel like i went from

just liquids

to solids 

in just six months