Friends, lovers, partners

I want a way of communication that is empathetic, meaning the person tries to understand the emotions and thinking behind what I am saying in the moment.

To do this, I want a person who listens, listens not defensively, ready to make an argument back, but ready to really understand what I am feeling and saying. To me, this takes courage and serious self esteem. To me, this means he holds the deepest respect for me, because he believes that my feelings and my thoughts are valuable.

I want a person who trusts. Trusts and has faith in the good between us and in the world. He believes that what I am saying and the approach I am taking is not to break him down, but to grow us closer. He can see and hear that I too, admit my faults and mistakes openly.

I want a person who is positive, in that he sees the positive aspects to difficult situations, to difficult people, and believes in those. His first reaction is to see the reality rather being naive about other's good intentions or thinking everyone is out to get him. He bases his judgments on evidence.

He doesn't get defensive, doesn't express bravado, doesn't feel threatened when someone is correcting him, someone seems more successful than him according to societal criteria for success: money, fame, intelligence or otherwise. He doesn't measure himself in that way. He just calmly thinks and considers the moment and the situation until he feels he understands it and himself in it.

He is comfortable asking questions, not knowing, being wrong, and openly admitting to his mistakes and his fallibility.

I want someone who is comfortable with being wrong because he believes in admitting his faults it is the only way he can evolve, grow and become stronger and happier.

I want someone whose security comes not from convincing others of his talents or brilliance or success, but from his deep belief in himself, his ability to make decisions, his ability to live true to himself, his integrity, his ability to do what is right for the universe even if it was hard for him or incongruous with his need to feel important.