Okay

Some people want to know why
why alone
why so much
why this destiny

I stopped asking why
now I just say okay

It rained

Hard
almost made me blush
the apartment lifted
buoyant
we floated
down 19th street
what it did it matter
any way?
it was all being
washed away
all that we were
the water waited
for those who knew
how to surrender
for those who
didn't
to drown

It rained hard
and we rode it down
the street
10:10 PM
August
distinguished
rain

I found my heart of hearts
Last night
It was 2
the moon
Came up into
View
in the window
I didn't want you
I want
the surrender
The fall
The give
across the room
Across the way
The give
In the walk
In my heart of hearts
At 2 am

life's other mood

one morning
i found
the other side of life
like a hidden personality trait
of a friend
or
a rock on the beach
whose true color is dull
dry and on the bedside
table at home

that this was it
just it
there was no thrill
no climb
no chase
no end
no ecstasy
simply morning
and night
hours
and days
seasons
and years
life was not
a constant chase for bliss
actually no
life was stillness
and then limits
with its own will
stronger than mine
life was two long lovers
passing each other in the hallway
to the bathroom
two friends sitting in silence
for a lack of things to say
for all that we can do
to make it faster
stronger
bigger
more meaningful
sometimes
life just is

Heartache Survival

Like living
in an atari game
I was buzzed
zooked
and dddddded
up and down
right and left
And then it was game over
Lost
there was no breeze that I could feel
there was no cricket
I could hear
summer
was as solitary as
winter
Days were full of
activities
that could have been
should have been
shared
Bike rides
swims
walks
and stars
Heartache survival
like miles walked
or a craft honed
the heart
too
never forgets
so into the muscle fiber
goes
steroids of loss
in preparation
for the next
grand
climb

Need Beautiful

I need beautiful
like you need a napkin
it needs to jump in my face
and make me a smile
a laughter out loud
a tingle inside
I need amazing
like the strange light
the other night
Sparkles sparked
once in awhile
popcorn
tastes like greasy paper

a girl's hope

night was different
steam was missing
weight was lifted
the light was so
that friends called to tell me
did you see the light?
it was 8 oclock
but now its nine
a rabbit leaps across
from one side of
the city street to another
passing a car
like an ambitious deer

i pass two men
and their bushels
boxes
carts
and collections
one topless and in shorts
sifting through their booty
the other
sitting on the cardboard
mat
leaning against the abandoned wall
he made a sigh
like the kind a desperate man makes

A couple passed me by
he smelled like a lover past
I smiled
remembering the thrill of that whiff

A few friendly calls
a scoop of chocolate gelato
and home was close by
I wasn't ready to say good night
the breeze
like an inviting wave in the ocean
I stayed out
another circle around the block

An alley way
like a straw
I went through
there were no decisions
no turns
I followed
and it spit me out
onto the road

There was a promise
somewhere
I felt as if I was chasing it
down one of these
streets
I felt it
dangling before my eyes
it was there
there was a promise somewhere
and it filled my torso
with a girl's
hope