Refuse

Refuse
To describe relationships according to their profitablity
To use the word value
In terms of money
To structure my life around
Things I want to consume
To do things bc of their outcomes
to rape creativity of it's virginity
By making it self-conscious of
its a place in a market
To push end
To convince you it's worth it

Wobbly

I was restless
And barely awake
It was all uneasy
Not doing anything
And yet things were getting done
Slower than usual
I didn’t know where I was
Kind of like
A piece of furniture
Had been removed
I felt like I was
Going and coming
But walking on some spongy
Wobbly Bouncy
Floor
Neither standing still nor
Moving forward
Felt very good
I held onto a thought to
Keep smiling
Feels like the uncertainty
Of falling in love
And the uncertainty after
Love has left

June

June was hydrangeas
fuchsia, and delicate purple
white and sweet blue
it was a bush of green and periwinkle
it was the breaststroke
and the smell of sewer
coming from Rock Creek Park
it was late nights of play
and new eyes to look into
it was heat
countered by downpours
a few nights without AC
it was getting closer
and much further
it was long walks into
changing light
from dusk
to sunset
to night
it was the same bird at the
tidal basin
as the week before
it was music
melodic voices of male duos
and Iranian piano songs of the past
the Black Keys too
it was website launching
friends meeting
baby coming

I was 24

And I liked mean boys
I liked it when they came and went
swooped in and out
dropping bits of bitter chocolate
the fancy kind
and as they flew back up into the sky
I clung onto to their claws
I was good at that
they let me hang on as they flew
but I always fell eventually
plopped down onto the ground
I liked the funny things they said
sometimes I didn't even know
they were being rude
I liked wrestling
if it meant being hugged at the same time
I liked mean boys
cause
they came and went
and did it with style

Yesterday it was Yellow

Yesterday it was yellow
My girl & me walked in it
While sudden rain kept everyone
Waiting under awnings
Today started out periwinkle
But the wind changed it
To gray
The pale pink t-shirt stretched
Against my chest
I could feel it move up and down in slow motion
Against the clank of the delivery truck
Door opening
the caterers cart stumbled over the red brick sidewalk
While I wondered how I was going to get there
& how I could ignore
Them long enough to meet you

She pressed crtl s and the memo saved. It had been an hour since he moved automatically down the steep incline into the metro stop. An hour since she had been correcting verbs and descriptions. Suddenly a wet globular drop sat on the v and the c on her keyboard. Again she was alone in the bold crisscross of practical rebellion.

I Feel It Again